All Cried Out

This is the end of my fifth week working. This week is not a very good one… Thanks that the end isn’t as bad as the start.

On Tuesday, I cried at the office. I really shocked myself. I never thought that I will cry over job matters. But it just happens. I was scolded, I was being looked down, I was blamed, and I just can’t take it.

To give a short scenario of what happen:

B is my reporting boss
A is a partner of B
A asked for B approval to give me a task
B said OK
+++

A gave me the VB work
I told A I never do it before, but I would try my best
I asked for deadline
A said ASAP, but insisted not to specify when
I said OK
+++

B came to me
B (partly accused, partly) advised me to be tactful and not to so easily accept to help other people
B asked me to focus on B’s task
I am OKing again, and now I confused of which to be prioritized.
+++

The above scenario happened last week.

Afterwards, I focused on B task and learnt A requirement whenever possible. Since I understand that I don’t have much time to learn at office, I decided to use my weekend to learn more about VB.

That’s one of the reason that I was so hurt when A was accusing me of doing nothing, blamed me for her can’t meet the deadline, and looked down at me for being stupid of not understanding the requirements and too dumb to ask. Trust me; I was so mad at that time. Whom I was mad to, was a mix between A, B, and mostly myself. For being so reluctant to clarify the situation before it actually exploded. I cried at the toilet (=.=’’) for 15 minutes, then I concluded that I can’t just keep running away, and I went back to my desk, staring at my desktop pretending to do thing, though my thought wasn’t focused at all. My tears kept flowing down, I bet everyone saw it, but I just can care enough no more.

The crying incident happened at 3 pm. At 4 pm, I was meeting the graduate representatives. I didn’t know how bad has my eyes swollen, but I just really don’t care anymore. I leave office at 6.30… run all the way to meet my appointment time. 7pm at plaza singapore, only to get to the wrong train, and being pushed until can’t enter the train and needed to wait for another train… the day is really bad enough.

I reached at 7.15. I apologized… I have been waiting for the dinner for half year.. and this is how prepared I am. T__T

After the deadly Tuesday, things started to get better. I did OT on Wednesday to get the things (at least) half way done. I went back at 10.30.. tired but with a bit of relieved feeling. I am thankful at C, who has OT with me till that time (not sure to accompany me or because really have lots of things to do also) and forced me to take a cab and helped me to claim. Haha..

On Thursday, I have a great dinner with my flatmates. Too bad that it was raining heavily when we went back, and we’re buying heavenly heavy stuff with us ^^; hahaha… but it was a fun suffering together day :p

On Friday, I finally managed to finish what B asked.. B didn’t seem appreciative at all. Started to complain and asked for changes before even looking at it. Seems like I still need to wait quite long to detach from B.

On Saturday, I am doing housework as usual T_T Watched the national day parade from tv while eating macdonald. It was quite nice… although of course not as gigantic as the Olympic opening ceremony. Hahaha…

On Sunday.. here it is at 1 am.. and I’m typing blog. My roomie has gone back to Indonesia for holiday. Early in the morning I will go for shopping and taking convocation pictures with other friends. Then the next day will be Monday again T_T will life be different if I’m still studying now? Maybe start to mug with FYP? Hahaha… I wish everyone all the best for their new term! =)

I need a lot of luck this week,
ED