The A$100 Million OZ Lotto Draw

This week, my brother was hyper for the upcoming A$100 Milion draws (well, I guess the whole Australia was). He asked me to pick 7 numbers from 1 – 45 to join the draw ^^; I was never good in this, but I gave him some numbers anyway (any first numbers I saw while sitting in bus)

The General Rules of Lotto!

He bought the coupon in the morning and the winning numbers were announced later at night (that was really quick!) - 29, 43, 8, 7, 15, 2, 13. My brother bought 9 pairs (each @ A$1.2) anddd… as expected, we didn’t win anything :p

Bye, two packs of KFC Meals

See, it’s really hard for me to believe that I can win anything that has probability less than 25%. What make me think that I’m more special than the other hundreds of people? Nothing. And it means that I won’t bother to spend anything to win something like that (unless it’s free, then maybe I’ll either do it or not depends on the barrier of entry).

I wasn’t always this skeptical. I used to join whatever lucky draws I found (SAM lucky draw for Condo, Singtel lucky draw for Resort World stay, etc), but then the more I joined the more I realised that those are just the company gimmick and there is no way I’m luckier than the other 5 million people in Singapore. So I stopped and focus myself on getting more realistic things – like getting discounts from deals site when you almost certain that you’ll be able to enjoy what you were spending on.

I know some people who are just really lucky and got gift delivered on the door step, for something they even forgot what for! Maybe if it happens to me once, I will have my faith in lucky draw restored :p

Ok, this is really just a random view of my luck on lucky draws,
ED

PS: I guess my luck is working on the other aspects of my life, which I'm truly thankful for :)

Whatever I am…

At the core, I’m just another soul longing for acceptance.

Trying too hard,
ED

Two Side of a Coin

Do you agree that there are always two ways to look at something?



Take an example which is close to my heart…

When people gave you more and more work…
Do you look at it as an evident of trust?
Or do you think that they are trying to throw their responsibility to you?

The perception matters a lot. The first will motivate and give you the sense of achievement in doing the work, while the latter will make you exhausted - physically and mentally - thinking that people has been unfair and you shouldn’t be the one to do the job in hand.

You might be happier if you’re a person with positive perception towards everything. In fact, I WAS a person with that way of thinking. My belief started to shake when I heard people pitying me and advised on how I should have the courage to say no whenever I feel overloaded.

Let’s me analyze my situation more thoroughly with few more examples.

First. I listened to my friend advice and start to think
Should I perceive myself as a person who opens up to opinion?
Or a person who has no stands and easily influence by other?

Two. When I’m given a work that’s not my expertise and I accept it
Should I treat it as a challenge and opportunity to expand myself?
Or am I just being ignorant of my own limit and greedy to accept everything?

Third. When a person is asking for assistance and I offer to help
Should I be proud of myself to be proactive?
Or am I worth laughing as I’m throwing arrow to myself?

Fourth. When I am not outspoken but making conscious effort to talk more
Should I be happy of myself that I keep trying to improve?
Or am I just being silly trying to break and change my own personality?

Fifth. When I struggling but surviving my work
Should I feel that it’s normal and I am adapting to my new comfort zone?
Or am I just don’t have the courage to get out and start fresh?

The list can go on and on. But basically, I just don’t know how to evaluate myself. Even when I decided to think positively about myself, I’m wondering if I AM actually in a self denial mode and just try to justify my actions with all the excuses. Oh gosh T____T

What is the name of this weird disease of mine?
Should I call it a well self-awareness?
Or is this what we known as the feeling of insecurity?

Irregardless, I know I am happy to meet up with my high school classmate this weekend :D


@ Indo Padang, The Cathay

…Or am I just trying to convince myself that I have spent my weekend meaningfully? Hahaha! This one is a bit too much =.=''

In a vicious cycle,
ED

My belonging for 4 years

I’m a clumsy person. I ever lost almost anything, from a rubber and pen, to wallet, mobile, even camera. However, in my 4 years in NTU, there are 3 stuff that have survived this test of time, survived to be with me for almost everyday through my undergraduate life ^^

1. Pencil Box


Cleaned 3x, Fell down 100x pencil box

It was bought on my last day being a senior high school student, on my last day of school, at a small school mini market. There is no specific reason why I chose the pencil box, but I never thought that it will stay with me for so long! Haha.. For all the time you’re with me, through my sleepy lectures and frustrating exams, thank you.

2. Watch


4 years of service and counting

The watch was bought on 24 July 2004 at Singapore, few days before I started my undergraduate life. It was a gift from my dad, with an advice for me to treasure every minute of my life. I always impressed with my dad ability to pick something. I love the watch so much, and it still looks brand new, after 4 years. I only have to change the battery once and it never gave me any trouble (so far :p) I never go to lecture without this watch… Sometimes, when I forgot to wear it, I didn’t mind being late for lecture to go back and grab the watch.

3. Roomie


Me, Inche - Taken during first year madness

“Have you found a roomie in NTU?”
“Not yet… You?”
“Nope… Wanna be my roomie?”
“Sure, why not~”

It was such a simple conversation at school which finally gave me the best roomie for the last four years :)

Treasure you all, even more now.
Erlin.D

PS: My PC can’t be included in this list.. starting from the power supply problem, mother board problem, memory problem and now harddisk… it constantly gave me a headache =.=

Let the music heal your soul

No matter what I’m stress over: FYP, assignment, tutorial or even ECA, music never fails to make me feel relax. Even for the exam stress, music has always been my best companion.

The type of music I listen depends a lot with my mood… but typically, instrumental and slow music never goes wrong. From all the instrumental music, the best will be Kenny G, no doubt. Currently, together with Michael Bublé, they have been my best companion for FYP.

The only bad thing about music is that… I always try to find more information about the songs I love, can it be the lyric, the video, the website, etc etc.. ended up spending most of my time surfing instead of studying T_T haha…

Having said so, I’m glad that I know my ultimate way to release stress. It makes everything less troublesome. Stuck? Listen to slow music. Sleepy? Listen to 90’s boy bands songs. Stuck and sleepy? Go to sleep lor :p hahaha…

I hope that all of you have your own way to release your stress… or if you haven’t find one, maybe you can try out music as well ^_^

This entry is intentionally posted to welcome Kenny G’s latest album – Rhythm & Romance, another savior of my dishearting fyp.

FYP, here I come~
Erlin.D

PS: Music is good except for one situation - when I'm memorizing things. It can make me focus to the songs instead of the stuff I try to memorize ^^;

PS2: Let the music heal your soul is a song title by Bravo All Stars. Simply wonderful.

Spending Quality Time

This is just another boring blog entry about abstract thingy… :p

I’m considering adding another motto beside “There is always a time for everything”. Still related to time, it’s about “Spending Only Quality Time”. I interpreted it as “spending time for something that you know you wont regret spending” It sounds simple, but sadly, these few weeks I didn’t feel doing anything close to that statement.

This festive season, I decided not to go back despite of my family’s request. I defended myself saying that I needed to do FYP… and the ticket to go back isn’t cheap as well. My sister teased me asking “So you will be able to finish your FYP if u didn’t go back? Does it really so important?” I ignored it and fully determined to make use of this week holiday to do the max..

And so, here is the end of the week… I wont said I didn’t enjoy the holiday.. but I really suffered the remorseful feeling.. which mostly caused by my bogus expectation towards myself.

I ended up never lay my single finger on FYP or any of the three assignments. Instead, I did a lot of things out from plan… (Sum up the cost together, it didn’t differ much from the price for air ticket T_T). The holiday was fun.. But the fun formed isn’t maximized… E.g. I think I will be much more satisfied finished my FYP then turned to Harry Potter, rather than the other way round… When you’re doing too much fun, you just didn’t feel the added value anymore… just topping up your guilt feeling when you’re coming to your real assignment.

Having said that, if I were back to home and I didn’t do my FYP as well, I didn’t feel this guilty feeling. Same outcome (FYP untouched) but different feeling (Guilty VS Happy)

Well, this entry might not be well formed… But I got 2 main point there.. first is to plan something with a right expectation. Second... is to get the plan sort in a right order.

I blogged when I supposed to sleep, but I still didn’t feel guilty :p
Erlin.D

And the Tarot says…

Today, we’re having Cool Guy’s b’day celebration. Rather than the usual midnight party, this was held during lunch time. And rather than the usual b’day cake cutting, we’re having ice cream scoping: Coke Float~ Haha.. Special thanks to Henny and Handy for the creative and successful event!

Happy 21st B'day, Cool Guy!

This time, I’m getting a chance to try out Tarot Card. Tarot had always been said to be accurate. The result shocked me... I’m stated to be someone reluctant to ask for help, resulting in me being an individualistic person, live in my own world, not able to communicate well and hard to grow… T__T… The first sentence is quite true.. For me, asking for help is my last magic resource I’ll use wisely for hard time. Hahaha.. Everyone has their own problem, so I shouldn’t be bothering them if I still have way to do it by myself, right? Or have I been living in the wrong perspective all these time?

On the other side, I’m happy when people asking help from me. It’s nice to know I’m still needed in some way :p Hahaz. Anyway, I noticed some people can ask for favor nicely such that we’ll help them willingly and happily. I must say that it’s a talent! Indeed, it’s a talent that every leader should have – the art of work distribution. Although I had been given the chance to practice it in these 2 years.. I must say that I didn’t have the talent… So.. Admiring those who have this character in yourselves =)

Enough saying about the miserable part of the result. As I was asking about relationship, my last card said that I’ll be a ‘good FATHER who can think to start a family now’ :S of course, they laughed as Winson read out the result. FATHER? Didn’t happy with it, I tried for the second time, asking about career. My first card start with ‘having a great MASCULINE soul in you…,” what!?!? Hellow.. what happen.. I agree that this is only a card game, but why no other people getting these cards beside me? More over, during the Truth or Dare game, I was picked to act masculine as well. Now I become to doubt about my personality :S.. huk huk huk.. T_T

Even in the online Tarot Reading, I still get the "Gentle Masculine" words :S

Ok ok.. masculine or feminine, I’ll need to start my Neural Network assignment T_T

300th Post!
Erlin.D

Limitations

Everyone had limitations, right? My first limitation is in sport… Frankly speaking, I’m terrible in all sports (Yeah). Back to senior high school times, I really wanted to learn ice skating when the place is available at the new mall opened. I kept pushing my friends to go with me. At the end of the game, all my friends can skate smoothly, but I kept falling down T__T Why? Don’t want to give up yet, I forced my sister to bring me there again for several times… I even got a trainer to help me...but up to the time I am typing this, I still don’t know how to skate.

The same things happen when I want to learn swimming, or ballet, or pool. I really don’t want to believe I’m that bad in sport.. Until I tried one running game (During my first year at NTU, to get 2 points :P) and be the last runner.

I began to accept the fact that I’m not good in sport.. and really impressed with people who are good in sport =D I felt that they must have really been putting much effort than me, that's why they deserved to have it.

Alrite. I lost track of the original intended content of this entry.

What I actually want to grumble is about my inadequacy in soft skill…. in writing something impressive and interesting to read on. I had been complained that my blog entry always very long winded and full with grammatical error =.=. But I didn’t care too much about it.. I blog because I enjoy it.. If I need to type, think, re-edit and review before I posted it.. I wont enjoy the process.. That was my defense.

Now, here I’m in final year. I can’t escape from professional writing anymore. At least, I need to do my resume. And my Final Year Report. Ha. Now I regret why I never take it seriously before.. I also regret why I didn’t have much reading on English novel or what.. I felt so lack of word choices to express my thought. When I read back of what I write.. I know that it wasn’t exactly what I mean, but I can’t rephrase it better! You must know how bad it feels when the result didn’t match our expectation T_T

So, here are 2 conclusions of today entry:
1. People tend to be impressed with other who had skill which he/she doesn't acquire.. I am impressed with some of my classmates who can always present their ideas well. No matter it's right or wrong, it's still a skill!
2. Don’t only learn what you are asked to learn.. Do what you like. Be good in it. Practice will be necessary (especially things like communications skill. It can't be built overnight) It will eventually be proven to be useful in different way. There is no such thing as time being wasted :)

Sad to be bad in sense of direction, proud to be (at least) good in eating :p
Erlin.D

About Me

I don’t like to break a promise… so I always resist myself in making any promise. Yet today, I break a promise AGAIN. To the same person AGAIN. And hate to say that it happened at the same month. I’m really sorry.. It’s useless for me to say that I wont do it AGAIN.. Cause it already happened twice. I only hoped that next time, I can be wiser to make up my mind.. My deepest apology…

This few days, I got a lot of attitude thinking.. (does it because I’m 20 now? :p hahaha.. ) I realized some facts about me…

I don’t like to be ignored. That led to my hesitance in initiating a friendship... I also don’t like the feeling of betrayal.. Thus I avoid it by not putting hope to anyone… I don’t like a rendezvous, because it’s always the beginning of a separation. I believe everyone has its own business, so I hardly started a chat for fun. I was also too blind to see if anyone need my help, until they said it out explicitly.. More.. I can feel that I always talk.. but never act..

Sometimes I really don’t know what kind of person I’m going to be… :’( All of them might not really connected to each other.. but it’s just some of the things that filing up my mind this whole week… Well...

Wondering,
Erlin.D

Girls-Only Blogthings

You Should Be With a Water Sign!

Your best match is a Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces Why? You crave intimacy and connection in your relationship and while most guys can't open up enough for you, a Water Sign can. Not that you're whole relationship will be soul gazing, a Water Sign matches your goofy sense of humor - and desire to help others.

What Sign Should You Date?

Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is

Mutual, after a great conversation about your future and feelings.

What's Your Ideal Marriage Proposal?

... what actually make me took those tests ^^;;; hahaha... just curious to find out too when i browsed A-PratZ's blog :p

No comment with the result,

Erlin.D

Self reflection

Who am I? A selfish kind of person. :( Always get the same feeling when I’m in difficulty. I got valid reason to think so. When I’m stress or in trouble.. there are always friends care enough for me.. asking if there is anything they can help… always. I really appreciate what they did to me.. felt so touch… and definitely helping me to distress… (Friends.. thx so much.. you know I mean it)

However.. I myself. What I did when they were in my position instead? I never felt that I did as much as them.. said I’m a bo chap person… I really am.. I did try to help as much as possible IF they asked for help.. but why I’m so seldom initiating the help?

*Thinking*
Erlin.D

What Kind of Soul Are You? *Following the Trend* :P

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit.You're always diplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

Kiasu

Gosh, Am I really that kiasu? I have my accounting quiz yesterday.. Not very good, I got 18/20 while Henry got 20/20 and kept saying that it was very easy.. sigh.. Maybe because the question was random? Or it's me myself didn't have strong knowledge of the theory? I DID a bit disappointed since I have been studying it since the first aid course.. however, I decided I shouldn’t kept thinking of it.. and then.. during my sleep, I dreamt that I have test again! For mathematic and biology (strange..).. Worse come to worse, I only got 6/10 for both of the subjects.. and both because of small mistakes. Felt soo down.. and then I eventually wake up and realize that it’s only a dream. Huahaha.. Kiasu mind hum? Exam is coming in one month.. Don’t say revising, I’m still 0% for CSC301 project.. sigh.. Think that I have no other choice..

Awareness Week is coming next week.. And we just realize one fatal mistake. We order the number of polo tee wrongly.. causing shortage of 40 more tee for subcomittee!! >.<.. After the fight to get it done on time.. we didn't get the amount correctly.. :'(.. ix.. need to think of solution soon..

Anyway,
NTU Blood Donation Drive 2006 10th-13th October 2006
Register @ http://clubs.ntu.edu.sg/redcross/

C ya all there =)

Red Crossing + CSC301ing,
Erlin.D

Glory of Love

These few days, an old song kept sticking in my head. Glory of Love. I got it when I was streaming to Ari’s MP3 collections. It really brings back my childhood memory. No no.. not because I have fallen in love at that very young age… (^^;) But my sister used to play the song, when I was around 4 or 5. The cassette (yes, still cassette that time) is titled “20 Love Songs”. I wonder if it is still there.. I love that cassette very much. It has all the greatest love song ever.. “Lady Rain” and “How deep is your love” is also from there. The “Glory of Love” I heard was sung by Peter Catera, but this one is sung by North. No much different in singing style (compared as I watched the video from YouTube.. haha..). I got information that it is the OST of Karate Kid.. heem.. must be a great movie? I really like the lyrics.. Especially the chorus:

You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone...

I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love...

Definitely one of the best love songs I have ever heard ;)

Huaaa, late for lectuuureee,
Erlin.D