The A$100 Million OZ Lotto Draw

This week, my brother was hyper for the upcoming A$100 Milion draws (well, I guess the whole Australia was). He asked me to pick 7 numbers from 1 – 45 to join the draw ^^; I was never good in this, but I gave him some numbers anyway (any first numbers I saw while sitting in bus)

The General Rules of Lotto!

He bought the coupon in the morning and the winning numbers were announced later at night (that was really quick!) - 29, 43, 8, 7, 15, 2, 13. My brother bought 9 pairs (each @ A$1.2) anddd… as expected, we didn’t win anything :p

Bye, two packs of KFC Meals

See, it’s really hard for me to believe that I can win anything that has probability less than 25%. What make me think that I’m more special than the other hundreds of people? Nothing. And it means that I won’t bother to spend anything to win something like that (unless it’s free, then maybe I’ll either do it or not depends on the barrier of entry).

I wasn’t always this skeptical. I used to join whatever lucky draws I found (SAM lucky draw for Condo, Singtel lucky draw for Resort World stay, etc), but then the more I joined the more I realised that those are just the company gimmick and there is no way I’m luckier than the other 5 million people in Singapore. So I stopped and focus myself on getting more realistic things – like getting discounts from deals site when you almost certain that you’ll be able to enjoy what you were spending on.

I know some people who are just really lucky and got gift delivered on the door step, for something they even forgot what for! Maybe if it happens to me once, I will have my faith in lucky draw restored :p

Ok, this is really just a random view of my luck on lucky draws,
ED

PS: I guess my luck is working on the other aspects of my life, which I'm truly thankful for :)

Intervention

If you watch “How I meet your mother”, you know what intervention is. It’s the time when your friends decided that you’re somehow out of the line, and hence decided to wake you up by telling the truth and hence called “The Intervention”.

Well, I got one last week. haha.. not a very serious one, but it’s still a wake up call for me. During one dinner on Friday, the intern in my department told me that I always looked tense and never enjoyed my self =__= Even though I didn’t agree with the latter part, the first comment make me stunt for a while. Is it true that I always look tense and worried? :( Do I take work too seriously? Sometimes I really wonder to whom should I compare myself to. If I compare my work to my other colleagues, it might be true that I overworked a bit. But if I compared with my other friends on the same batch, I think I complained too much. There are friends working on Saturday and Sunday, friends who have to be on stand-by throughout the days, friends who need to fight to get customers, etc etc… who am I to complain when my boss texted me once in a blue moon on weekend?

So! In the end I still not sure if I should take work more lightly. To forget about deadlines and forgot about trying to satisfy everyone. To forget about action points and follow-ups. To forget about planning and improvisation… Just do whatever is required to get through the day. Will I be happier that way? Will I live my life fuller? Geez, I don’t think I can sleep well at night if I do all those.

I would like to then conclude that... To be able to look tense and serious all the time is… my very own expertise! Hahaha… I’m not sure if I’m workaholic… I just want to conclude my work and make sure that I can enjoy my non-work time to the max… so nothing much will change for now… I guess I have learnt quite a lot on how to close one eye in most of the issues in the office… so I will stick with it for now… until my other friends gave me another intervention! Haha…

Btw, Quarter 2 is here… which means only one thing for me: My slot for buffet is open! ^^ Where should I spent my precious buffet allowance this quarter?

April fool was a nice day as I manage to fool my colleagues. I hoaxed an email saying that my team is moving to Maple Tree next month and forwarded it to them… 100% successful rate as everyone responded in shocked tone. YAY!


April Fool's Dinner @ Esmirada, Chijmes

This weekend, we celebrated Mr & Mrs Liusman b’day at Spize. Happy birthday, happy couple! and man, I love the place! Kudos to Jess for arranging it. The food is good, plenty, and cheap! I had Nasi Goreng Kampong, which is most probably one of the best Malay Nasi Goreng I ever had in Singapore, seriously. And it’s for $5. We stayed there for almost 3 hours, and then went back home. It’s only around 10 minutes by bus to our place. Very convenient :D


After a filling dinner at Spize. Happy Birthday, Ver!!

Sunday, I went to NTU for badminton at SRC. It was so nostalgic. I remember about exam the moment I saw SRC. Going back to NTU again as ex-student, I got a chance to look at NTU from different perspective. It amazed me how NTU actually have so many facilities, yet I hardly tap on any of those during my years in NTU. If I can turn back time, maybe I will at least visit the gym or swim at least once a week. The juniors these days make a better use of the facilities than us. Good improvement. Hahaha…

After the badminton, we had lunch at Canteen 2. Yes, the beef ball uncle is still there. I used to have thick + thin beehon combined soup… but he didn’t allow it anymore T_T The egg & beef ball are still as nice as ever. And what amazed me more… the price is still the same! $2.5 for a bowl of beef ball noodle. After almost 7 years. Wow!


My favorite food during first year in NTU

After lunch, we took the free shuttle bus to Pioneer MRT, and then went straight back home. The weather these few days are soooo hot that I felt like melting. Have no motivation to go out at all unless it’s really compulsory. Even the usual windy flat suddenly feels like oven these days.

Talking about flat, our rental contract is ending next month, and we’re already on discussion with the owner for the price for renewal. The owner wants to increase the rate by $200… which is quite high for 4 of us T_T We negotiate and $2,750 is the best price they can give (i.e. $150 increase). Should we continue? I guess everyone is pretty much tired of moving, and sort of agree to the revised price. Haha… but the property price is really crazy these days T_T Please please I hope the property market will burst and go down next year. I will never be able to afford anything if it keeps going up much faster than my salary increment. Haha..

OK, that’s all for now folks. Time for Harry Potter 7!
ED

Travel Back in Time

It’s funny how Facebook makes you aware of your age.

Couple of year’s back, all I saw in my friends’ pic is gatherings, school, and fun. Nowadays, all I see is office, holiday, and pre-wed pictures. Couples more years down the road; I will see baby pictures filling my facebook page.

All these make me feel that time travels too fast and I want to stop it! I felt nostalgic all in sudden, and decided to dig out some proves that I was teenager once.

I look at the pictures I took in high school, the website and yearbook I designed…
I look at the millions picture I took during undergrad, the poster, the banner, the screenshot, the for-fun photo editing…


Class website, donkey's years ago


for-fun photo editing... during Death Note Fever


keeping screenshot of everything! This was taken during my 2006 B'day I guess.

And then I realized…

It was a big mistake to look back T_T I’m just confirming that I’m old. I don’t have the energy, passion, and appreciation like what I used to have. I wasn’t as narcissist as what I used to be…

…

And what have I gotten in return? I don’t know… But I know that I would never be able to return to the past anyway… so I’m glad that I digitalized enough stuff to be reminisced once in a while :p

And for those of you who is on your high school / undergrad now, enjoy the best time of your life :) Like what people always said, you will only be 21 once (quote from movie: 21)

Back to present: Yay! It's time for dinner! :D
ED

Reflection of Year 2009

Have I just passed the first week of December? How can time fly so fast? T_T

This is near the end of the year… and normally I will be doing my yearly reflection at the end of the year… Since I will be away from Singapore next week and during the New Year eve, let me summarize them now… *digging through my archive.

Promise this will not be a lengthy post.

Looking back, I realized that a lot of things have happened to everyone surrounds me. Life after college is definitely much more complex and prone to changes. Around the year, I have heard of friends getting married, friends continuing to study overseas, friends getting promoted, friends going back to hometown, friends getting new job, friends getting hitched (hehehe) and lots more.

Whatever happened to my friends are actually an inseparable part to my life. However, for the sake of focus, I will limit this post just to myself. Busybody mode switched off for this post.

This is what my lucky star said about my fortune in year 2009


The yearly Chinese zodiac display @ Chinatown

When I was reading the above fortune at the start of the year, I was quite worried if I can survive this year. The fortune was quite bad in comparison with the other zodiac. Thanks God now is the last month of the year and I’m still here in my room, alive, typing blog :)

Ok, Proud or not, these are the 9 things happened to me in 2009:
1. Be home for Lunar New Year for the first time since I come to study in Singapore
2. Get my Permanent Resident and feel the pain of pension fund contribution
3. Complete the Mid Module Training, CIO Challenge (superbly memorable), End Module Training, and graduate from class 2008
4. Complete my rotation in 5 different teams at 3 different offices
5. Have my first cycling experience at East Coast Park, continue with the first hospital experience at Changi Hospital
6. Marry Panasonic Lumix LX 3 and send Sony DSC W70 home
7. Travel to Australia and catch the sand storm in Sydney
8. Meet Princess Aurelie and understand what love at the first sight is
9. (finally), I’m proudly announce that I learnt how to swim!! :D

And now... as tradition has it, here goes the yearly pic to sum everything up :)


Year 2009 - C'est La Vie

10. Be Kiasu more than ever,
ED

Passion and Patience

Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer.

- Mark Z. Danielewski (House of Leaves)

In the journey to find passion, hence patience.
ED

The Outliers

I completed Malcolm’s Outliers this week. (Didn’t feel very complete as I failed to solve the IQ Quiz on Page 78 even after I dreamt about it, but I have to move on)

In summary, the book stresses the importance of hard work. The famous people; the outliers; are really the creation of hard work + opportunities. My two favorite’s takeaways are the 10,000 hours rule and the birth theory.

The 10,000-hours rule defined the minimum hours to be spent by anyone to be an expert, regardless of the profession. In the examples, he quoted how Bill Gates steals computing time from University of Michigan, how Mozart composed his masterpiece only after more than 10 years in music world, and how Beatles use to perform the whole night – everyday – for almost 3 years. Hard work. This is one of the two parts of success.

The second part is luck. It talks how every successful people are born in the right timing for the specific field… Bill Gates, BlackRock founders… and he even included his family as the own example.

This is his third and latest book, yet this is the only book I read from him. Not sure if his style of writing is all the same, but it’s an interesting book overall, packed with facts and interrelations between each example. The examples themselves are only a handful, but in every chapter, he reveals more and more interesting facts, which engaged us until the end of the chapter.

The book actually makes me think further about how my own luck brings me to what I’m right now. If only my eldest sister wasn’t in Medan, I would not have been studying there for my high school. If I didn’t study at Medan, there is little chance that I will make it to overseas. If only my BINUS exam card wasn’t stolen by the robbers, I might now be in Jakarta and works there. If I didn’t pick my internship at Apple; I might not be able to get the sponsored trip to WWDC (and if only I slept outside of the Moscone West, I might have got the chance to meet Steve Jobs hehe). And of course, if only I choose other courses in NTU, I might not get the chance to enjoy all this graduate training program experience.

These are all the opportunities... the encounters… the luck if you want to call it, plus the hours I have spent in dunno-where, which determined what I’m right now. But if you want to dig further and question what determine the opportunities… I totally have no idea. I am a believer that opportunities came randomly. If I can do it, I will take and live to it. As simple as that. Frankly speaking, I can’t remember what is the hardest decision I have made… guess this is another effect of being born as the youngest in family… you are not trained to make decision. Hehe.

Should I continue or sleep now? I choose the latter! :D
ED

... Forgot to include a short summary of what has happened this week...
This week is full of late night sleeps. Full week of OTs, ended with a Saturday OTs until 4am. Had a team dinner on Friday at Vila Bali which served superb grill chicken. Had a lunch at Mahattan with Calvin Rina Winson @ Central Clark Quay.

RCHN Committee 13th - Comms and CIP Gathering

Had a KTV Session with SCE-ians @ Party World Liang Court. Had a lunch session at IMM with YX and gotten jealous over his trip pictures. Had a nice swim on Sunday morning which is forcing my eyes to close now.

The first time being in Party World - the moments worth the every single cent :)

The Anniversary

At this very same day, a year ago, I was full of anticipation.

Now, after one year of working life, I’m recalling back on what had been my expectations on that memorable day. Thing wasn’t really far off, although it has made a lot of unexpected turns.

I started off with zero knowledge about business process, but I wasn’t really worried about that. I was so sure that they hire me because of my technical expertise, till I was told that I was just made a very big wrong assumption.

Despite being in IT department, there is no development going on. At all. The most technical stuff I can find was to make test cases and liaise with vendor. I feel very uncomfortable at that time. If my core competency – my knowledge of software engineering – wasn’t put into practice at all, I am no difference from a JC graduate. I started to panic, knowing that I wouldn’t be contributing as much as I want.

It was only after few months then I realized their reasons for hiring me. No they are not looking for an expert in the field. They are looking for someone that they can nurture, to have a high level view of the organization, and to have the experience of how every team works. I was flattered and skeptical at the same time. I was not convinced that it’s going to work out for me.

Time passed by, and I moved on to different teams. The more team I work with, the clearer I can see the value of the arrangement. In the end, I’m thankful that I can make meaningful suggestions to my team, just because I learnt it from my other team. I started to focus a lot in business processes, and quite accept the fact that my technical expertise might be left unused.

But the plot wasn’t last long. With the organization decision to revamp their business strategies, focus was no longer to nurture people. Rather, it’s to find the people who can do it at the lowest possible cost. I’m now misaligned with the strategies, and hence Plan B is executed.

The plan B kicked off today, right on my one year anniversary. After working at DBS and ORQ, I’m now located at 911 Alexandra. Rather than working with stock, price, fund, order, I will now work with select, insert, execute, debug. Wasn’t this what I have been wishing for since the first day? To be on technical side and talk about the topic I’m comfortable with? Sometimes I really feel that God hear my voices (even though with some lagging. ehem.)

Now, instead of jumping out when waken up after 7, I can still roll around after 8. Instead of being in a team with no guy, I’m now the only gal during lunch. Instead of talking about school holiday, I’m discussing about new iphone application. And instead of going home after 12, I reached home before 9.

Is this what I want? I don't know. But I realize that I can't ask for more than that. I truly find that this is a good opportunity for me to find out, if I'm really what I thought I was. Let see what I have to say on my second anniversary. For now, I’m engaged to GBIT.

Happy Anniversary,
ED

In the Mid of the Year

This has been the most exhausting month so far. Suddenly, the choice of not moving out becomes one of the best decisions made. I’m mentally exhausted, with all the anxiety towards my presentation next week. Why am I so troubled with presentation? Why on earth presentation exists at the first place! Haha (I know this is not relevant)

Talking about presentation, my last one was more than one year ago, which was my faithful FYP presentation. At that time, I’m presenting to a professor, about a project that I know with all my heart, and I’m all sweat. This time around, I’m going to present to 3 directors, about my dunno-what 6 weeks project, which will affect my future in the company. For that, I haven’t even started a slide. Just kill me already.

Anyway, I read through my last year’s post… and I envy the old me. Things were so much vibrant during University time. Have I changed? Am I becoming an ignorant? And the thing that I scared the most… is my life stagnant?

This week, despite my crazy schedule, I decided to meet up with a financial planner (a better word for insurance agent), and he walked me through some of the planning stage. I was ready to answer honestly all the questions, but his first question has already stunned me out.

“When do you want to retire?”

Not that I don’t want to answer, I just never think about it YET. It’s just too far ahead for me. For me, it sounds similar to asking a primary school student of when he/she wants to get married. In the end - don’t want to look stupid, I make up a quick answer “40”.

Come to think again about it now, it is definitely not a well-thought answer ^^; even if I can save half my salary, retiring in 40 means that I only have 18 years of saving, and can only survive until 58, taking all other variables into constant. So now I know that retiring at 40 can’t be possible if I decide to do nothing with my life. Stagnant is a big no.

Another question of “what is your dream?” almost convinces me that I have to hire a planner. I don’t know what I want exactly :( let the day slip day by day… definitely not what we have to do with our life.

Now I need to start to think about my dream. What is the perfect future am I expecting? To travel around the world? It sounds fun… but has never be my biggest desire so far. Any other nice ideas? :p

Am I too realistic to dream or a boring person with no dream :s
ED

The Interdependent

This is an update from my previous post. I was wondering, how can someone move from dependent, independent, towards dependent again?

After finishing Sherlock Holmes novel (for the countless times), I moved on to “The 7 habits of the highly effective people”. Thanks to my flat mate who like to buy books (although reading them is another question altogether, yeah :p), I have a list of motivational books on the shelf.

Self explanatory from the title, this particular book talked about the 7 habits that you should have in order to have an effective life. Before I even started to read the first habit, I got the answer to the question I was asking previously.

A plain extract from the book, page 49:

We each begin life as an infant, totally dependent on others. We are directed, nurtured, and sustained by others. Without this nurturing, we would only live for a few hours or a few days at the most.

Then gradually, over the ensuing months and years, we become more and more independent – physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially – until eventually we can essentially take care of ourselves, becoming inner-directed and self-reliant.

Sound familiar? :D

As we continue to grow and mature, we become increasingly aware that all of nature is interdependent, that there is an ecological system that governs nature, including society.

Dependence is the paradigm of you – you take care of me; you come through for me.

Independence is the paradigm of I – I can do it, I am responsible, I can choose.

Then? Then?


Interdependence is the paradigm of WE – we can do it, we can cooperate, we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.


Simple? Yup.

For me, the interdependence explains everything. That’s why we need other people… to achieve something greater than what we can do best alone. I wonder how can this simple theory just slipped from my mind ^^; If you need more explanation, go buy the book, or apply to be my flatmate :p hahaha…

Alright… that’s all. Need to sleep now so that I can wake up early tomorrow. This is an application of habit 2: begin (sleep) with an end (wake up) in mind :p see, I apply what I read. Hahaha…

Ok ok, last note, although I am not really a fans of motivational books, I realized that reading some of them might help to boarder your thoughts and hopefully, make you think more positively of your life :)

Angels and Demons this Saturday!
ED

Quarter-Life Crisis

What?

Can’t believe that weekend is here again! I’m glad for weekend, but scared with how fast the time flies. Why am I so scared? Is it because I haven’t planned anything for my future? Or is it because I have time to think and scare of my future. Either way, I know I need to do something. But what? T_T

A bit too early, but I think I got the QLC (Quarter-Life Crisis) syndrome. It’s a crisis that happened mostly to fresh grads. Some of the syndrome includes:
- Nostalgia for university life
- Frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
- Confusion of identity
- Insecurity regarding the near future
- Insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
- Insecurity regarding present accomplishments
- Re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationship
- Boredom with social interactions
- Loss of closeness to high school and college friends

I feel that I’m affected with most, if not all, of the syndrome specified above (to know more about the syndrome, search wiki! Haha…) May be not to a very high extreme, but still…

How to recover from this? Maybe it’s time to hit the bookstore (or some downloading site, erm)

On a brighter side, despite the entire syndrome, I’m glad that I still have friends that I can share with. Thanks for always be there, pals :)

Alright, enough mind wandering for this week. Have a great weekend everyone!

twentysomething,
ED

Contradictions in Life

Do you ever hear something similar to this proverb:

“Love is not finding someone you can live with; it’s finding someone you can’t live without”

I found the statement beautiful and touching at the first place, but when I think further, I wonder how it could be possible.

Everyone is born single. Until a certain age, yeah, you can’t live without your parents and guidance from others. But afterwards, you are demanded to be “independent” and no longer requiring parents support.

Of course you will still interact and making friends, but you’re expected to crave your own path and decision, aren’t you? Friend will find you annoying if you nag on them in anything you do, and you will hence be called immature. So, if the condition itself is forbidding you to be dependent to someone, how can you in the end find someone you can’t live without?

Sigh…

Alright, enough. Maybe I take the proverb too seriously. haha... This is one of the drawbacks of being a computer science student; you want logic in anything you do ^^; In fact if I follow this particular proverb to find the one, I am quite sure that I will end up single for the rest of my life. Hahaha… I know there is no hard rule in love… there is no one to be responsible to your choice, and in the end, you have but your own base to decide on your choice… In conclusion, you are independent to choose who to be dependent with. What a contradiction. I am confused.

Let’s end this post with yet another contradiction from my favorite Dilbert's one liner:

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

Hahaha,
ED

In a blink of eyes…

2 out of 2009’s 12 months have passed.
1 month has gone since I went back for holiday
5 months has passed since I went for training

And in another blink of eyes
Another month is starting
1 month to my next rotation
2 months to my mid training
3 months to another rotation

Time just flies. Doesn’t it? Have just watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (thanks downloader, you know who you are). I agree that it should win the special effect awards in Oscar. The aging effect is powerful! Story wise… it imposes to me how precious time is, and reminds me to always live my life to the fullest :)

Another moral of the movie was: Cool people writes diary! (just joking) Put down your thought somewhere if you feel that it worth remembering.

Today I woke up at 12, cleaning up room until 2, having porridge as lunch at 3, raining at 4, and thinking of what to have for dinner at 5. Worth remembering cause this is such a precious relaxing weekend.

Happy Birthday, Adi Putra~
ED

The Contrary

I know we should
Work smart not hard
But I seem to have been working hard without feeling smart at all

I know I want to
Drink more water, less caffeine
But I have forgotten the last time I go to pantry without getting a coffee

I know I suppose to
Sleep early, wake up fresh
But I have been waking up late and being an owl at night

I know I would prefer
Feeling warm at office, cozying at room
But I have been freezing at office and sauna-ing due to the broken Air Con T_T

I know I understand that
Life is full of contradiction
But I’m still living happily it anyway

Current situation: so many things on queue, but I have reached my saturation point today

Flashingly fast weekend ahead,
ED

Hi, Medan

I’m leaving in 4 hours time. As always, I didn’t get the chance to have a proper excitement T_T I reached back home from office at 12, get some shower, and – unconsciously – washing my hair. Ended up I came out from bathroom at 12.30 with wet hair.

No choice but to let it dry before sleep T_T I tried to do some stuff, but I’m just so tired… A lot has happened this week. Really a lot… I was over estimating myself and finally forced to forgo numbers of things to do… not really critical, but they were now or never. Sigh. Felt like my emotion has been played around with all the good and bad news around me. More importantly, I have affected the emotions of people as well. My apologies…

Still the same wish as previous post, I wish everyone well this year. Is this year has been extremely full of surprising news, or I’m just not well enough adapting to my age?

I think I need some time to rejuvenate…
ED

The "FYP"

Wednesday… a weird day to write a blog, especially if you still have a long list of things to do and haven’t had enough sleep. Wait. Or maybe it is because I didn’t have enough sleep, that I become somehow emotional?

The first week of New Year hasn’t been good. Although I am glad (and being gossipy) of seeing lots of my friends status changed to “relationship”, I heard more sad stories from my closer friends. How can all of them happen all together in one week?

And I really lost my ability to calm them down. What am I supposed to say when someone told you that they were broken hearted, that they are not good enough for the other? The most I can say is that you need to learn to appreciate yourself first before you demand other to love you. If you appreciate yourself enough, you will see that it is their lost not to accept you, and you can get over them.

Somehow, even that kind of (what I think as) general comments can go wrong, because not everyone has the same beliefs. As far as I know, the point of view can be largely divided into two extremes:
1. Offer your love. If they don’t want it, then too bad. Move on and find another.
2. Offer your love. If they don’t want it, means that you haven’t tried hard enough. Carry on until their heart melt, because you are sure that he/she is the one.

The first extreme will be called playboy/girl and the second extreme might be known as desperado. There is no right or wrong, but I think the latter can make situation really bad for both parties. From my comment, I know that I used to opt for the first. But if that’s the case, how you, as the offered party; ever sure that he/she is not just testing the water?

That’s when I concluded that this thing is too complicated and I am no expert in it. My apologies to my friends who had expected good encouragements but receiving silence instead from me. Trust me that I really don't want to make my friends feel worse with my comment.

I feel better after pouring out these things from my thoughts. Hope that I can have a better sleep today.

I sent my deepest condolences to my friend who just lost her father. Oh, year 2009. God, please make it good somehow.

End of the First Week,
ED

Update: Just get this quote from my sister. The timing is just right.

All the best, everyone :)
ED

Second Chance?

This week, I have received a lot of encouragement… a lot… I felt happy… but I know that what come afterwards will be hard. Most, if not all, of what I endured, is my fault, my responsibility. My biggest fault is my lack of communication, the thought that people will understand me without the need for me to explain everything. Oh, how fool can it be?

In these 2 months, people have set their perception towards me. How I’m going to change their perception, is not known yet… but will definitely be harder. Opportunity didn’t come twice.. I have missed almost all of my first opportunity, and I know I have no one to blame but myself T_T

Anyway, these incidents are not without learning points, of course. I truly appreciate all the advices that come to me, and will work around all those points =] there are so many things that I want to work out towards a better me… but honestly, it is terribly hard to start… I feel so reluctant to start, even until now. To start is always the hardest part.. sigh! I need courage... give me courageeee ><

Some advices that stuck in my mind…

“If you see other is getting along well while you’re not, you should start to introspect yourself” – EL

“Managing expectation is important. Who do you think will be seen better – a person who promise delivery by today, but deliver tomorrow, or a person who promise next week, but deliver tomorrow?” - KP

I know those advices are true.. again, another “BUT”, it is just so hard for me to start talking openly, to present without worry, to question without feeling stupid, to stop being spoon feed and explore more by myself. I believe there is always a way though. There is a way whenever there is a will.

BTW... I haven't found my objective yet. I woke up every morning questioning why am I doing this. Horrible. Let me think for a moment... Let me think... *blank

Alright... That's all for today.

Study to work adaptation is truly not easy ^^;
ED

Comic and others

This holiday seems to pass very fast… and I’m really scared seeing my face getting rounder and rounder everyday T_T Can’t be helped with the amount of food and sleep I get.

I mentioned in my previous post that I might be too old to be reading comics… it happens that I’m not the only one with that thought… my dad think that I’m waaaayyy too old to be reading these. The first time he saw me with a bunch of comics, he uttered some comments like “so useless, read until get up at 12 everyday”. The second time he saw me with those comics, he didn’t resist to scold me “What’s the use of reading those stuff? Read then still play computer. Take care of your own eyes! Don’t go to the comic rental again, I helped u return these for the last time.”

Sometimes I think that my dad is too fierce T_T I know that reading comics is not very useful, but that’s what I love to do to relax… is it so bad for me, even only for my holiday? And it’s not like I spent a lot of money for it… the rental price is less than the price for 10 mins internet. He always fulfill whatever demand I have for food, even if mum already cook a lot.. but for comics… sigh.. I simply don’t get it.

And as usual, I complained to mum about this… Thanks mum for always being a very good listener ^^… After the thing cool down, I rethink and see that dad’s scolding was not that bad. Maybe this is really the time for me to give up on renting comics. Being the youngest daughter, I am a bit lack of self consciousness… and this command did hit the spot.

So… I think that mark the end of my comic rental history :( I will not be renting comics anymore.. ix.. (but it doesn’t mean that I can’t borrow :p anyone wanna lend me comics? :p) In total, I only rent twice, once 13 comics, and another time was 11 comics. Giving up on comic itself might still take several years. It’s hard to stop what you start since 5, right? Hahaha… I still want to at least finish Conan :p


Comic - day 1


Comic - day 2

Now as I didn’t have comics to read.. I play computer games… hahaha… these substitutes are not bad… but I still love comics the most… T_T actually, sometimes I wonder why I prefer comics than movies. E.g. if I’m given the choice to choose between manga and anime, I will surely prefer manga. It usually has better art than anime, and I can enjoy at my own time and pace. I wonder if anyone has the same preference with me ^^; One more thing, I feel guilty for watching, but not for reading. Strange huh?

Ok.. I think I talk too much about comics already =.=’’

Few days ago, I finally get my final grade… and I’m now officially graduated ^^ I’m really shocked to see my FYP result… With the amount of holidays I took, I don’t think I deserved the grade.. you’re really an angel, sup (and examiner). I might be wrong to select DS instead of simulation, but I glad that I’m choosing the right date mate for this one year… thanks a lot… T___T

Now… for those who are starting or in the middle of FYP… ganbatteee nee~~ :D After going through all these, I will say that it does not differ too much from our general project. In fact, as long as we treat it as our general project, with deadlines of update to meet every week, we’re on good hand. The most common mistake was to treat FYP as self pace, prioritizing other project instead of FYP, and end up having no time for FYP. Be careful not to fall on this particular mistake. This was the advice of my supervisor on our first meeting… now I pass it down to junior.. wakakak XD

Btw! Today is the rice dumpling aka bak cang day. So glad that I can celebrate it at home… cause it means that I can eat as much bak cang as I want… hahaha… even auntie, knowing that I’m back this year, gave us more bak cang than usual… hohoho.. thanks a lot auntie.. yours is the best.. nyumnyum (blogging with mouth full of rice dumpling)

Next week will be Father’s day. Maybe it’s the right time for me to go to Medan and do some shopping before going back to Singapore ^^

Sleeping Queen,
Erlin.D

Side Wishes

Most likely, you have some wishes that you know will never happen, and yet it kept coming to your mind over and over again, in different time and places.

I made wishes several times for these things to happen:
- That food doesn’t cause fat. Study does
- That I can transfer fat to those needy people, simply by pulling it out from stomach
- That my primary food is not rice, but KFC

These wishes aren’t something that you think about seriously… and not something that you might wish for when u’re given a chance to make only 1 dream come true. They just come impulsively to your mind… and it somehow reflects what kind of person you are.

What is your spontaneous wishes right now? =D

Hungry,
Erlin.D

Spending Quality Time

This is just another boring blog entry about abstract thingy… :p

I’m considering adding another motto beside “There is always a time for everything”. Still related to time, it’s about “Spending Only Quality Time”. I interpreted it as “spending time for something that you know you wont regret spending” It sounds simple, but sadly, these few weeks I didn’t feel doing anything close to that statement.

This festive season, I decided not to go back despite of my family’s request. I defended myself saying that I needed to do FYP… and the ticket to go back isn’t cheap as well. My sister teased me asking “So you will be able to finish your FYP if u didn’t go back? Does it really so important?” I ignored it and fully determined to make use of this week holiday to do the max..

And so, here is the end of the week… I wont said I didn’t enjoy the holiday.. but I really suffered the remorseful feeling.. which mostly caused by my bogus expectation towards myself.

I ended up never lay my single finger on FYP or any of the three assignments. Instead, I did a lot of things out from plan… (Sum up the cost together, it didn’t differ much from the price for air ticket T_T). The holiday was fun.. But the fun formed isn’t maximized… E.g. I think I will be much more satisfied finished my FYP then turned to Harry Potter, rather than the other way round… When you’re doing too much fun, you just didn’t feel the added value anymore… just topping up your guilt feeling when you’re coming to your real assignment.

Having said that, if I were back to home and I didn’t do my FYP as well, I didn’t feel this guilty feeling. Same outcome (FYP untouched) but different feeling (Guilty VS Happy)

Well, this entry might not be well formed… But I got 2 main point there.. first is to plan something with a right expectation. Second... is to get the plan sort in a right order.

I blogged when I supposed to sleep, but I still didn’t feel guilty :p
Erlin.D

Reflection of Year 2007

Reflection… Like what others typically do in the end of the year ;) I’ll go randomly~

This year.. I had a wonderful time working at Apple… as well as priceless experience in Red Cross. Both of them were the choices I made.. and I truly felt thankful that I made the right decision. (Both of them are the most asked questions during interviews lor :p)

This year.. I'm no longer a teen-age T__T I turned 20… and traveled to more places than what I ever expected: Genting, Sunway Lagoon, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Medan, Hongkong, Shen Zhen, as well as Macao. Wish that I can visit my sister next year.. as well as my brother.. and maybe have some traveling during the job training… (there is no harm to dream, right? :p)

This year... I gained my Minor in Business. I finished my URECA... I tasted part time job… Although the job didn’t last long, I didn’t regret trying. I learnt lots of things.. and I’m glad to know different people in the library… as well as stayed in contacts with them.. They are all great people ^^

This year… I started what so called the scary Final Year Project… Thankfully, I got an angel as my supervisor.. It went alright (yes, I wont say it went very good T_T) I really hope that I wont disappoint her in the end.. and I’ll do my best for it.

This year… I’m really happy to have holiday with my parents.. It’s really a rare opportunity.. Last holiday together was 4 years ago… and maybe this is the only opportunity for the next few years… and I’m glad I decided to take this chance in the last minute. (The only bad side effect is.. I got another 5kg fat in me T_T) At the same year… my dear brother got married... I’m so happy… I love you all, my family =)

This year… is the first time I joined a competition, together with Helios, WK, and Max. It’s still in progress… I treasured the chance to be in a team with those great people. Their determination to do something is something that I learnt and cherished. Wishing us all the best!

And of course, the last few months of this year had been filled with job applications. It’s a long process.. my first ever interview with bank B, my first final assessment with bank C, the unbelievable interview with bank D… and thanks.. I made it through :)

So… well… this year… is coming to the end. That roughly summed up what I had gone through. I learnt a lot.. Hopefully I have become a bit wiser. :) Coming up next year will be my Final Semester, accompanied with FYP and BCC. Wishing us all the best ;)


Unforgettable Memories of 2007

Oh yes, credit to my Sony camera for all the pictures posted in 2007... It has been accompanying me throughout the year. So far, it has digitized almost 8000 memories. (with expenses of $440 + $150 bucks for the broken LCD T_T) anyway, thanks for sticking with me! ^^

Happy New Year 2008 everyone!
Erlin.D